The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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