so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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