The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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