Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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