I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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