I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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