wakey wakey hands off snakey
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize