i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
