You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
