pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
