watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
