saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
