his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They took my balls.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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