I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
