that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts