Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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(419): View more from Ohio

so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.

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(281): View more from Texas

I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

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(661): View more from California

I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.

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(561): View more from Florida

6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home

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(219): View more from Indiana

You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.

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(702): View more from Nevada

But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy

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