Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Four minutes until I can fart!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
