I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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