You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
