So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
