There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize