didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
