What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
