WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
