i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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