Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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