And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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