she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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