yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
