Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
