The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
