Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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