i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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