Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
