We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
