That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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