Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
