Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
