Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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