Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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