so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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