Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
