I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
