everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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