if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
