dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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