is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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