How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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