everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
