Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
