I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
