wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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