i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
