Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He? As in you personified your dick?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
