After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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