he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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