I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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