i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
