I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
