I want to walk on stilts...naked
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
