my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
