Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
