last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
