Where is the hickey?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
