There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
