The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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