Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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