Dual....:-)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
