Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
