Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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