just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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